Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Worst baseball card gimmick ever?

The late 1990s and early 2000s were a time when card companies experimented with a lot of different gimmicks. The 2000 Skybox set, with some awful free verse player descriptions that sounded like a 70-year-old white person rapping. Most of them don't even rhyme.

Neifi Perez: "Ain't no doubt about it Neifi, you're a future All-Star. Brother, please, you're game's so tight, you'll be rockin' with the Rockies for years." (note: Perez was never an All-Star and the Rockies traded him away the next year.)

J.T. Snow: "You got skillz that are comin' down like rain. You're hitting strictly from the left side next year, but your game is still all right." (Don't they mean skillz comin' down like snow? That would be a better description of his skillz considering his name.)

Jose Cruz Jr.: "You're smackin' bombs with the greatest of ease, and pitchers are beggin' you please. You got more talent than a dog has fleas."


  1. wow, I will never make fun of the ToppsTown cards again.

  2. Those cards suck and you're out of luck to know that they're not even worth a buck.

    I love to embarrass my 14 year old son with a little white guy rap and dancing in the car...... I hope he reads this.

  3. Wow, those are awful. I wonder if I own any?

  4. These amuse me endlessly. How did the writers not go home and shoot themselves at the end of the day?

  5. I'm thinking they handed photos to 8th graders and said, "Look at these and make up a rap about them." It was probably disguised as a writing assignment, so they didn't even get a piece of gum for their 'work.'

  6. I am so glad I missed these when I took a collecting break. Good lord.