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OK, for those of you who didn't turn over your computer, his "funny fortune" is: "Batting atop a revamped lineup, Ray becomes the ML's first player of 1996 to score 100 runs." I don't understand the humor, but the prediction was not way off - though not the first player of the year to hit that number, he did finish the 1996 season with exactly 100 runs.
I dunno about the fortune, but the girl should have been in the running for Night Owl's new Dodger girl for sure.
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